Confessions

I home school my kids. You probably already know that if you're reading my blog. But what you might not know is that sometimes I am jealous of those who don't. I rarely talk about it, because all the other home school moms I see seem to love it and are doing a fabulous job of it. I, however, see my house and think how much better it might be to just put the kids in school. I get envious of the moms who take their kids to school and then have 4-7 hours to clean the house, get the shopping done, or even just take a shower in peace. I feel guilty when I have these thought and feelings because I know that homeschooling is what God has asked me to do. I know all the great benefits of homeschooling my kids; I see the growth and development in Katie almost daily at this point. I know that the messy house and lack of showers is just a season. I know all the logical things I would be telling another home school mom who is feeling this way. But knowing all the right answers and feeling the tiredness and jealousy are two very different things. All I can do is hold on to those logical thoughts at this point and know that God does indeed take all things and make them not just a good thing but a blessing in His own special way.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for my great relationship with my daughter. I am thankful for my ever supportive husband, my energetic son and a God who takes my feeble efforts and makes them work together for good simply because I love Him!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I Am A Mom!

I am going on a Pastor's Wives Retreat today. I have been very nervous since I said yes. This week I have really searched my heart as to why I am so scared to go. Rick is a very capable father to his kids. Katie and mostly self sufficient and her schoolwork can be scaled back to be easier to do with her daddy. Eli is now potty trained and weened. So why am I reluctant to go? Is it guilt, fear, anxiety?
As I have searched my heart and mind this week I came up with the answer, I think! The answer is...I am a mom. That is who I am. I wont always be, but I am in the stage of life where that is what I am. This is not a negative thing as the world may think. This is a wonderful, joyous, sometimes tiring but always rewarding calling on my life! I am a mom. Do I deserve a break to go sit at Jesus' feet? YES! And I am going. But feeling guilty in going isn't really what I'm feeling. I will miss my family! I love hanging out with them. I love seeing my kids grow everyday. I love talking with my husband! I love being right in the center of God's calling on my life!
I am a mom! And I love it!

Mom's Day Gift

For mom's day I got a t-shirt. It's great! On it it has the verse I think all mom's live by, especially when they have a two year old boy!!! The verse is Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Certainly raising kids is of the Lord and in His strength alone!

When does a mom rest?

I am a full time mom. I care for Eli all day everyday (except a few hours on Thursday's when he goes to a sitter so I can work Katie's classroom). I don't have a housekeeper or a cook or a nanny. I am all those things. Now, crazy as it may seem, I am studying to be a home school mom next year too. I've been reading lots of books about time management for moms and home schooling. One thing I have taken from all my learning in the past couple of weeks is a huge question... When does a mom rest? When do I get to just read for fun? When do I get to take a shower? When do I get to go to the potty by myself? It has really bothered me that my house isn't quite clean enough or the dinner isn't quite on time. But now I'm adding several hours of teaching into my day. How am I going to do all of this? When will I get any down time? Am I going to spend the rest of my life dirty and tired? The stress was building up and starting to strangle me and make me question all I know the Lord has told me. Maybe I should send Katie back to LACS and send Eli to LAC Pre-School too. Then I went to the Lord. He brought me to Matthew 19:26 And looking at them Jesus said to them, " With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." It is amazing how God just brought all the suffering from my heart with this one verse. I cannot do it all. And it will be hard. Because with people (MENDY) this is impossible, but when God is in it, nothing can stop it. I don't know what stress is strangle holding you right now, but take heart and remember "with God all things are possible."