I am going on a Pastor's Wives Retreat today. I have been very nervous since I said yes. This week I have really searched my heart as to why I am so scared to go. Rick is a very capable father to his kids. Katie and mostly self sufficient and her schoolwork can be scaled back to be easier to do with her daddy. Eli is now potty trained and weened. So why am I reluctant to go? Is it guilt, fear, anxiety?
As I have searched my heart and mind this week I came up with the answer, I think! The answer is...I am a mom. That is who I am. I wont always be, but I am in the stage of life where that is what I am. This is not a negative thing as the world may think. This is a wonderful, joyous, sometimes tiring but always rewarding calling on my life! I am a mom. Do I deserve a break to go sit at Jesus' feet? YES! And I am going. But feeling guilty in going isn't really what I'm feeling. I will miss my family! I love hanging out with them. I love seeing my kids grow everyday. I love talking with my husband! I love being right in the center of God's calling on my life!
I am a mom! And I love it!
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Your husband and children are blessed to have a wife and mommy with such a great attitude towards family.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mom, and whether you realize it or not you will always be one! You will not always be "mommy"; with your kids hanging on you, asking you to drive them to the mall, cooking for them and staying up late waiting for them to come home. But you will ALWAYS be mom. I'll let you talk to mine! She will tell you it is part of who you are. It is an apron string that never really gets cut all the way through.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is a wonderful seed that God has planted in you. It will grow as your kids grow; it will bloom and mature. And when He takes you home your kids will rest under the shade of the memories you have given them.